Students life

Students life and their moments..


most irritating moment : Morning Alarms 

most dreadful moment : Way to class

most lovely time : meeting friends

most tragic news : Test in 1st period

most wonderful news : Teacher is absent 

most relaxing area : last bench

most funny moment : Teacher cracks a jock and nobody laughs....

Kidnap

Sonia Gandhi ek school me visit karne gai...kisi ek class me pahuch kar boli...." koi sawal ho to bolo..."

Santa bola.." mere 3 sawal hain.."
1) Aap khud prime minister kyu nai bani....
2) Ramleela maidan main police kisne bheji...
3) Apka kitna paisa SWISS bank me hain ?

Isse pehle ki sonia ji jawab de..Half time ka bell baja...
After half time..


Banta khada ho kar bola mere..5 sawal hain..aur 3 to Santa wale hi hain...
4) Half time ki bell 15 min pehle kaise baji..?    aur akhri sawal...


5) Santa kaha hain...maine use half time k baad se nai dekha....

CHIN YU YAN

Sardar went to meet his Chinese friend who is dieing in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN and then he dies.

Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

The Meaning is YOU ARE STANDING ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!..

Elder

Sardar proposed a Girl......

Girl said '' I'm 1yr elder to you ''.

Sardar said '' Oh! No Problem Soniye, I''ll marry you NEXT YEAR."

I love you

Santa's wife : " ojji....sunte hon? "


Santa : " kya hain..?


Santa's wife : " dekhona...muhje..' i love you ' ka msg aya hain..."


Santa : " oye..ese msg rakhte nahi hain...vapis bhej de..." 

Kolaveri-di

Thanks god..." Kolaveri-di " song rajinikanth ke relative "Dhanush" ne gaya....

Agar khud Rajinikanth ne gaya hota to......

Vo song national anthem ban jata.....

Long drive

Boyfriend and girlfriend long drive par ja rahe the...


Girlfriend : " kya tum ek hath se car chala sakte hon ? "


Boyfriend ne fakra se kaha..." Ha...kyu nai.." aur vo ek hath se car chalane laga...


Tabhi girlfriend ne kaha.." to fir dusre hath se apni naak saf karlo....."

Sardar's cute son

Ek chote Sardar bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : " Isme kya hai? "


Mummy : " Issme pyara sa Baby hai. "


Baccha :  " Itana pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko? "

Sardaron wali Baat

Ek raat bijli chali gayi,

Sardar:  " oye kam se kam fan to chalao. "

Sardani:  " kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi. "

Every year

Interviewer: " What is your birth date? "


Sardar : " 13th October "
Interviewer: " Which year? "
Sardar : " Oye ullu ke patthe — EVERY YEAR "

Sardar's Family..

A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,

This is my sardarni,

He is my kid,

and…. she is my kidney.

Ten times

A Sardarji..went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour...


somebody  Asked .."Sardarji...Aapko chain nai hain?.."


Sardar : "Hain to sahi par khul nai rahi..."

Papad

Police : Ma'am, darvaja kholo...Aapke pati truck ke niche aakar papad ban gaye hain...


Ma'am : to usme darvaja kholne ki kya jarurat hain...?..niche se sarka do....

2012

Sab kehte hain ki...2012 me duniya main quamat aegi....


kya aap iska ression jante hain ?


- 2012 me " Raksha bandhan" aur  " Friendship Day " ek hi din par hain.....


   " 5-8-2012 "

Sshh...

Nurse : mubarakho...aap papa ban gaye...


Banta : meri biwi ko mat bolna.., main use surprise dunga... !

Suicide

Frog : tumare paas dimag nai he...


Santa : Hai...


Frog : Nai hai...


Santa : hai..


Frog : nai hai...(and jumps into the well )


Santa : isme suicide karne wali kya baat thi....

B.A

Santa compony ka B.O.D ban gaya...ek din....


Santa : kitna padhe ho ? 


Banta : B.A


Santa : sala  2 akshar padha, wo bhi ulta....

2 se 3

Santa (on phone) : Maa.., khushkhabri hain....


Maa : bolo beta...


Santa : ham 2 se 3 ho gai....!!!


Maa : badhi ho...ladka hua ya ladki ??


Santa : nai maa...na ladka .., na ladki...mene dusri saadi kar li...

10 to 12

Lady Doctor : tum roz subhah clinic ke bahar koun khade reh kar ladies ko kyu dekhte rehte houn ?


Sardar : bahar likha to hua hain.." ladies ko dekhne ka samay 10 se 12 " 

Once again wife..!

Santa : tuje pata hain ?,Sukhna lake kaha aya hain?


Pappu : nai...


Santa : to fir tuje pata hain..?,pappi koun hain ?


Pappu : Nai..yaar..


Santa : kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo....

Truck Driver

Banta : abe..Santa,..tu har baar trucks ko dekh kar gabhra kyu jata hain ? 


Santa : ek baar ek truck driver meri wife ko utha kar legay tha...esi liye truck dekh kar muje har          baar esa lagta hain ki wo meri biwi ko vapis rakhne aya hain.......

Apple tree

Ek baar banta ped pe chad gaya....upar bethe monkey ne puchaa.."upar koun aya? "


Banta : apple khane....


Monkey : par ye to mongo tree hai...!


Banta : pata hain...esi liye..apple apne shath laya hun...

Who am i ?

Ek bar Santa Gangubai ke ghar pahuch gaya...aur bell bajai...


Gangubai : ea koun he..?


Santa : main...!


Gangubai : main koun ?


Santa : tu Gangubai...

Relatives

Girl : will you marry me ?


Santa : nai...hamare yaha saadi sirf relatives main hoti hain..mammy ki papa se, didi ki jijaji se, aur bhaiya ki bhabhi se....

Boiling...

Santa chaaku boil kar raha tha...


Banta : oye ..chaaku kyu boil kar raha hain?


Santa : suicide kar ne k liye...


Banta : lekin boil kar ne ki kya jarurat hain?


Santa : agar infection ho gaya to..... 

Adult

Translation from hindi to english..." khushi ke pare uski chaati ful gai..."


Santa : due to happiness..his chest became br***...

Current Account

Santa : oye...banta...wo ladki koun hain? she's so beatiful.........


Banta : muje uska naam pata hain....


Santa : kya hain..?


banta : wo bank me kam karti hain...uske counter k paas uska naam likha tha.." chalu khata "

1 year

Santa : judg saab...! muje apni biwi se talaakh chahie..usne 1 saal tak mujse baat nai ki hain....


Judg : bhai ...!!!fir se soch le..esi wife nasib walo ko hi milti hain...

Dimag ka use..

Santa ke sar se blood nikal raha tha...


Doctor : Kese hua?


Santa : me hatho se patthar tod raha tha...tabhi kisi ne kaha.." paji..kabhi to dimag ka istmaal            karo..."

Raid..

Santa : ghar ka sara saaman 6u pado...jaldi..


Wife : why..? Aapke dost lootlenge?


Santa : nahi...pehnchan jaenge...

Follow

Lover : why u r so late?


Girl : ek ladka mera pi6a kar raha tha...


Lover : ye bhi koi answer hua??


girl : yes..!...vo ladka bahut slow-slow chal raha tha...

Judwa

Nurse : mubarakho aapke judwa bacche hue hain..


Santa : lo..ji...ye to hona hi tha..programme hi ese dekhti thi..KBC2, INDIAN IDOl 2, Dhoom 2...

ATM user

Ek Sardar ka beta 1st time ATM se cash nikalwane gaya… achanak machine jaam hogai.

Ussne bank manager ko bolwaliya. Manager ne pocha ye kay say howa?

Sardar’s son : " kya vahiyat machine hai ulti seedhi cheezain mangti hai. Phelay kheti hai ENTER CARD, phir ENTER PIN.

PIN dhoond kar laya aur is main dali to sali jaam hogai.."

Sardar's Diwali

2 Sardars talking during Diwali.

1st Sardar : " Jab phatake phut te hai to pahle light dhekhai deti hai phir awaz, aisa kyon? "

2nd Sardar : " Kyonki hamari aankh aage hai aur kaan piche. "

Dream kill

It's Perfectly Legal To 

Kill Someone In Your

Dreams,

That's Why

I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday...

Commerce and Sience

Difference between Commerce & Science Questions:

Commerce :

What Is Ur Name?                                                                                                         (10 Mrks)

Science:

What Is Ur Name & Its Origin?

Give Relations &Applied Aspects Along With It'S Logical Significance.

Also Explain With The Help Of Graph.

It'S Upper & Lower Limits.                                                                                (1+1+1=3 Marks)

Banda Fail Nae Hoga To Kya Top Krega? =P =D